Red Rocket Racer
by PimpedOutGreenEars
Summary: Craig has two loves in his life: His dog Stripe, and Red Racer. When his loves are thretened he goes to who else but Tweek. CraigxTweek.
1. My dogs favorite game

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or any of the Characters, however, the plot is mine.

This is my first SP story but I don't want mercy, please tell me what you think no matter how brutal; I can take. I accept flames, however please not bash because of the pairing.

-POGE

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Red Rocket Racer

Craig's P.O.V.

Near the end of 4th grade my pet guinea pig, Stripe, died. I had locked myself in my room for over a week, refusing food or water offered to me by my parents. I was devastated. I had loved Stripe with all my heart and he died. It wasn't anyone's fault he was old, I'd had him since Kindergarten, it was just his time, but that didn't make things any easier for me.

I had been in my room for a week and a half when my Mom barged into my room. I had flipped her off and she had flipped me off, this was normal behavior in my family.

"Craig this is ridicules, you've been up here for over a week. This behavior has to stop." My mother said to me flipping me off again.

I flipped her the bird once again before replying; "Mom, Stripe died! My best friend in the world died and you want me to behave!" I screamed and once again, and you guessed it, flipped her off.

"Craig, I understand you're sad, but starving yourself won't help." She said and for once didn't flip me off.

"I haven't been starving myself; I've been eating Stripes food and drinking his water!" Now this probably sounds pretty sick, but I made sure Stripe only got the best; fresh nuts and berries, and bottled water that I kept in a mini fridge in my room. I loved him.

"Honey, I know it's hard and that's why your dad and I got you a little something, come downstairs and see." My mom said pushing me toward the stairs.

I complied and walked down the stairs and into the living room where my dad was standing with a puppy in his arms.

"Craig, stop being a puss, take the damn dog, and eat some meat before your penis falls off!" My dad screamed flipping me off and roughly shoving the dog in my hands. He then walked out of the room.

"I don't want a new pet!" I screamed pushing the dog in my moms' hands.

She then flipped me off. "Craig at least look at him, he looks just like Stripe. Plus he's only a week old, Craig, he's so cute!"

I looked over at the puppy, and it was true, he looked just like Stripe. He was brown with a white stripe down his nose and he had little whiskers coming out of his fat cheeks.

"Stripe was special, he can't just be replaced!" I screamed and flipped off my mom.

"Craig, I've tried to be patient with you but this has gone far enough!" My mom screamed flipping me off. Then to make things worse my dad reappeared and flung a raw, and I mean RAW, pork chop in my face. Oh and he flipped me off!

"Damn it Craig! I said stop being a puss! You're gonna end up like that Marsh boy and be a queer, and ain't NO queers gonna live in this house, ya hear me boy!" As you can tell my dad doesn't like gays. I guess it's because he's such a redneck.

"He's not gay, he's just a pussy." I said hoping I was right, if I was wrong my dad would get pissed and think I was trying to get an excuse to hang with Stan; which was dumb because I hated Stan.

"I don't care; you eat your meat like a real man!" He screamed at me and flipped me off. That's when the puppy jumped out of my moms arms and started growling at my dad. It was funny because Stripe had never liked my dad; he always bit him and gave him nasty looks.

"Honey at least let me cook it first." My mom said flipping my dad off. My dad then flipped her off, grabbed the pork chop and threw it in her face, and left the house slamming the door shut.

"Well have fun with your new best friend Craig!" My mom said flipping me off, and then leaving to cook my pork chop.

"God damn I hate my family." I said looking at the puppy. The puppy turned his head to the right, which was what Stripe always did when he meant 'yes' or 'I agree'.

"So…Umm you look a lot like my guinea pig Stripe did." I said flipping him off, something I NEVER did to Stripe. He turned his head to the right again. So I decided to keep talking to him. "Do you like Red Racer?" I asked him thinking it was strange that he acted like Stripe did. He once again turned his head to the right.

"Craig! Do you want a salad with your pork chop?!" My mom screamed at me already knowing the answer.

"Well, do I?" I asked my 'new best friend'. He turned his head to the left, witch to Stripe would've meant 'Fuck no', 'I don't agree', or 'are you fucking kidding me'. "Right again." I said to the puppy. "No Mom I don't want a salad!" I screamed toward the kitchen.

"You act like Stripe, and look like him. Stripe died a week and a half ago, you were born last week. A-are you Stripe?" I asked the puppy. He turned his head to the right, he was Stripe.

"Oh Stripe! I'm soo sorry I flipped you off, I had no idea, and if I had known- Oh I've missed you!" I screamed rapping my arms around him and balling, I was lucky my dad wasn't there to see me.

And that's how Stripe was reincarnated into a dog. It was later on that I learned about

playing 'red rocket' or 'milking the dog'. I learned about it later because I had never had

a dog so I didn't give a rats ass about it. When I did learn about it however, I tried it.

Stripe really liked it so we kept doing it, even now at 15 I still play it with him.

"Stripe, hurry up Red Racers about to come on!" I yelled at Stripe from the living room. I

sat on the newspaper covered floor in front of the T.V. Stripe trotted over to me and rolled onto his back and turned his head at an angle so he could see the T.V.

Stripe and I always did this. In case you're wondering what 'this' is, it's watching Red Racer while playing red rocket. I unzipped my fly and pulled out my penis. Red Racer came on weekdays at 3:30. As soon as I got home from school I would lay newspaper all over the floor and wait for the show to start, and when it did…Well I think you know from there.

"It's starting!" I said grabbing both my own and Stripes cock. I started pumping both of our cocks quickly, I didn't stop when he came; I never did. When Red Racer starts I always lose myself, I never stop until the first commercial. When the first commercial did come on I let go of both our cocks. It was at this time my parents walked in.

"Craig what the FUCK are you doing?" My dad screamed flipping me off.

"Watching Red Racer with Stripe." I said simply.

"Let me rephrase the question; why is the dog covered in sperm!?!" My dad screamed at me and then flipped off Stripe. Which made Stripe growl.

"Because we were playing red rocket while we were watching Red Racer." I said flipping my dad off which made Stripe turn his head to the right.

"Is Craig in trouble?" My sister asked my mom who was keeping quiet. My mom just shook her head signaling now was not the time.

"What in the hell is red rocket?" My dad asked growing tiered and annoyed, I could tell, he didn't flip me off this time.

"Milking a dog." I said even though I know it's really jacking off the dog.

"Craig, you can't jack off the dog, he's a boy." My dad said again more focused on gender than his species. Yes we have had conversations like this before. He always says I'm getting to close to Stripe and people will think I'm gay. I love Stripe like no other, but I'm not joining PETA to marry my dog, that's sick. Oh and Stripe agrees, he wants to be with someone who's the same species.

"Honey, I think we should be more worried that he's jacking off a **dog**, not that the dog's a **boy**." My mom said frustrated with my redneck of a father, after flipping him off of course.

"Don't tell me what to be worried about! Now Craig, promise me you won't jack the dog off ever again." My dad said not resisting the urge to flip me off.

"Fine, I promise not to jack Stripe off ever again." I said looking down at the ground because I couldn't bear to look at my best friend, who I knew had his head turned to the left. "Can we finish the show now?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"Good boy Craig and you can finish your show, but after that I want you to go work out in the basement; it'll make you a man." My dad said referring to the gym he had set up in our basement two years ago.

"Okay." I said not bothering to sigh in fear my dad would strike me for being a sissy. Yes my dad did hit me sometimes. He would do whatever he had to do to make me listen.

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The next day I met up with Clyde to walk to the bus stop.

"Hey dude, rough night?" Clyde asked me noticing my tired look.

"Dude, you have no idea. I was working out from 4:00 to 8:00. I was so tiered I didn't even take a shower." I said ruffling my hair before pulling my hat out of my back pocket and placing it on my head.

"Dude, it shows, or smells I guess." Clyde said scratching his head in confusion.

Clyde is my best friend; we're really close and walk to the bus stop together every day, which my dad thinks is gay, what a surprise. Clyde is really lazy, but he's also really smart. He's one of those guys who passes on tests alone and never does any homework.

"Thanks dude, thanks." I said a little pissed with Clyde. I also flipped him off, but he ignored it.

We finally made it to the bus where Token and Tweek were already standing.

"Hey guys." I said taking my spot in between Clyde and Tweek.

"Hey Craig." Token said high-fiving Clyde.

"Gah! H-hey Craig!" Tweek said smiling and waving at me.

Just then the bus pulled up. Our bus driver Ms. Crabtree opened the door and screamed at us. "SIT DOWN AND SHUTUP!"

"You're such a stupid bitch." Token mumbled under his breath as he got on the bus.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!" Ms. Crabtree asked Token.

"I said I've got a nasty itch." Token said quickly.

"Oh, me too." Ms. Crabtree replied to Token.

Then Clyde got on the bus silently, deciding not to cause Ms. Crabtree any trouble. Then I got on the bus and flipped her off, just like I did every other morning. "YOU JUST FLIPPED ME OFF!" Ms. Crabtree screamed at me.

"No I didn't." I always replied this way to someone who accused me of flipping them off. It wasn't that I didn't know I flipped them off, but honestly I didn't mean to sometimes. I'm so use to flipping people off all the time that I sometimes can't control it. This time however, I meant to.

"Oh, okay." She said dumbly. She was stupid and gullible.

Then Tweek followed me onto the bus. I sat down next to Clyde, and Tweek by Token. The bus ride went normally with the four of us talking among ourselves loudly and obnoxiously.

The bus soon pulled into the school. Ms. Crabtree abruptly stopped the bus causing us all to fly forward in our seats.

"GET OFF THE BUS!" Ms. Crabtree screeched at us.

We all hurried off the bus and into the school. My group of four hurried into our homeroom class, taught by non other than Ms. Garrison. After a shortage of teachers at the high school they sent her over to us.

We then sat down quickly in our seats.

"Gah! Craig! Anne's looking at me, what do I do?" Tweek whispered/screeched at me.

"Why are you asking me?" I said turning to look at Anne, who was looking at Tweek.

"Because you always know what to do!" Tweek screamed at me.

"Well, do you like her?" I asked not bothering to argue with what I new Tweek believed full heartedly.

"I don't know! It's too much pressure!" Tweek said shaking.

"Aggg, you're so hopeless Tweek. Just look at her and smile, then give her a wave." I said a little annoyed with him.

He didn't ask twice as he turned and did as I instructed. Anne just smiled and waved back at him. I didn't like it. Truth was I knew Tweek well. Most girls didn't even give Tweek a second glance. Why, because he was…..Different. I couldn't say just how many dates I'd left in the middle of, just to hang out in his room because he thought someone was going to hurt him. Most people asked why I did it, why I would drop all my plans just to try and convince him he was safe. Well truth is I knew he needed me.

After that fight in 3rd grade we'd became friends. At that time we were evenly matched, but as time went on we weren't. Sure even right after we became friends he clung to me for protection, but now he actually needed me.

Tweek was really skinny and boney, probably because he spent his lunch money on coffee 3/5 of the time. He was also pretty short for a guy our age; he was only 5'5.

I however, was well built, very well built. My dad always made sure I was in really good shape, he's the reason I started freshman year in football. I also wrestled and played baseball, but baseball sucked and I started in that to unfortunately. I made it this year too. I also stood above him at 5'10. I wasn't the tallest boy, but I was average height.

I've got to know Tweek since then, and he's a cool dude. He even took Jimmy's place in our group when Jimmy started hanging out with Timmy. He tries his best at everything he does; he's never selfish, unless it involves his coffee of course, and he's really loyal.

My point is girls never see that guy. They see his shaking exterior, and then want nothing to do with him.

Anne wasn't a bad girl, but Tweek deserved better. Anne was okay looking and got average grades, but she was always trying to take a guy and mold him into who she wanted him to be.

"SHUTUP! I'm in a bad mood and I'm taking any of your shit!" Ms. Garrison screamed at us.

"Fuck." I whispered to myself. I knew if I got caught flipping Garrison off today it wouldn't be as easy as a trip to the office.

I looked to Clyde for help, but he just looked at me confused. He had no common since. I then looked at Token, who acted like he didn't see me, but I knew damn well he did. He always ignored me if he couldn't help me, he didn't want to admit he didn't know what to do.

I then looked to Tweek, who was confused at first but soon got my meaning.

Garrison started teaching and I saw my middle finger up. "Shit" I cursed under my breath. Garrison started turning toward me, but then Tweek jumped out of his seat and screamed.

"GAH! I've got to uhhh, JESUS CHRIST! I've got to talk to you outside!" Tweek said walking toward the door.

"GOD DANMIT TWEEK!" Ms. Garrison screamed following Tweek.

Tweek looked back at me and cringed. I mouthed a quick thank you before he walked out the door with Ms. Garrison.

Neither of them came back all class, I was a little worried for Tweek but I knew he'd be okay. It was only like the 3rd time he'd got in trouble at school this year, which was nothing compared to the 27 times I'd got in trouble.

The bell eventually rang and everyone ran out the door, except me, Clyde, and Token who just walked as if hoping Tweek would walk in the door before we left.

The day went by quickly enough with Tweek coming back into class 8th period.

"So what happened with Garrison?" I asked Tweek when he finally came back.

"I told him I knew of a Les bar in North Park and I thought he-she should know." Tweek said smiling pleased with his lie.

"So why were you gone so long?" I asked not really giving a shit class was in session.

"He- eh, she asked me to show it to her. I kept telling her to turn random places until I finally saw a bar called 'Va-Jay-Jay'. I took a stab it was a les bar." Tweek said smiling nervously.

"Why'd you think it was a les bar?" I asked curiously.

"I saw a woman with a mullet walk in." Tweek said smiling brightly. It made me happy to see the glint in his eyes.

"You're learning to lie better!" I said smiling proudly at him. I was always trying to teach him things like that, how to lie, how to properly insult people, even how to haggle at the county fair. You know, the important stuff.

"Thanks Craig." Tweek said smiling even bigger, he was proud of himself too.

We stopped talking after that and actually listened to what our teacher was babbling on about.

When class ended I ran out of class and to my locker, as always. I had half an hour to go home and prepare for Red Racer.

I ran home instead of taking the bus, with all the stops Ms. Crabtree made I'd be home faster if I ran.

I finally ran into my house and quickly threw off my shoes. Then I noticed my red haired sister sitting in front of the T.V.

"Move, Red Racers coming on." I said grabbing newspaper to put on the floor. I also flipped her off.

"Daddy said to make sure you didn't jack off the dog." My sister said flipping me off.

"Why do you always have to be such a goody-to-shoes!?!" I asked grabbing my backpack and emptying it on the living room floor.

"Because I like getting my allowance. Besides Daddy says if we don't watch you you'll turn queer." My sister said flipping me off.

My sister is a total homophobe. She hates queers. So of course she doesn't like me because Dads convinced her I'm gay. I don't know why my family thinks I'm gay.

I've went on dates, I've got caught with porn, and I'm the badass of the 10th grade! What more do they want! Sure I leave a lot of my dates in the middle to help Tweek or if Clyde has a new videogame to play, but still! Sure I was going to use the porn to cover the living room floor, but Dad didn't know that! And sure I got to be the badass of 10th grade through wrestling, but come on I've still beat up more guys at school than anyone in the grade!

I flipped her off and then threw lots of newspaper into my backpack. I then grabbed Stripes leash and called for him. "Come here Stripe!"

He soon came running down the stairs. "Look I'm leaving, so tell Mom and Dad I'll be at Clyde's or something." I then flipped her off and left before she could argue with me, but she did flip me off.

I briefed Stripe on where we were going on the way to Clyde's. We finally made it to Clyde's house where I knocked on the door.

"Hey Clyde." I said bouncing slightly.

"Why are you here, I thought Red Racer was on?" Clyde asked me confused.

"It is. Can we watch it here?" I asked pointing to Stripe.

"Oh, no! No way man! You are not jacking off your dog at MY house!" Clyde screamed at me, and started to close the door. I put my foot in the door to stop him.

"His name is Stripe, and I'd start using it if I was you!" I screamed back at Clyde and Stripe turned his head to the right and growled.

"Look sorry **Stripe, **but you guys can't watch here." Clyde said once again attempting to close the door, and this time I let him.

"Come on Stripe, we still have time to make it to Tweek's!" I said running toward Tweek's house with Stripe at my heels.

When we got there I pounded at the door until Tweek answered.

"Hey Tweeky." I said using one of the pet names our group used on Tweek. If you've ever read the book 'The Outsiders' then you could think of Tweek as Johnny. Tweek was our friend, but he was also like our pet. Someone always had to be with him and make sure he didn't get hurt or killed. We reframed from calling him those nicknames at school however, as not to embarrass him.

"H-hey C-Craig. What's up? Isn't Red Racer on?" Tweek asked with the same confused tone of voice Clyde had used.

Yes ALL of my friends knew about my deep obsession with Red Racer. I loved Red Racer and I loved Stripe, they were the soul things keeping me alive, and my friends knew that. They also knew that NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE, was to disturb me until after Red Racer. They also knew Stripe was more important than them to me, and if Stripe wanted to go on a walk then we went on a walk, whether my friends needed me or not. A guy has to have his priority's strait.

My point is it was 3:26 and I wasn't in front of a T.V.

"Look I can't watch T.V. at my house, so of course I came strait to you Tweekster." I said trying to look into his house.

"Uhhh, I don't know! Nngh-It's too much pressure!" Tweek screamed jumping.

I then pulled Tweek into my arms for a hug; which normally calms him a little.

"No pressure Tweeks, just let me in your house." I cooed, rubbing his hair as I did. Not to mention shoving his face into my chest.

"O-okay." Tweek said giving me the permission I needed to walk into his house and start throwing newspaper all over his living room floor.

"GAH! W-what are you d-doing Craig?" Tweek asked watching me scatter newspaper everywhere.

I then turned on his T.V. and grabbed his remote. I turned the channel to Red Racer; which had about two and a half minutes left until it came on.

"Okay, me and Stripe always play red rocket while we watch Red Racer. Sit down; you need to do me one more favor." I said quickly.

"I do! JESUS CHRIST! I knew i-it! It's a conspiracy!" Tweek screamed, but still sat down beside me.

"Okay Tweek do you know what red rocket is?" I said ignoring his theory about a conspiracy against him.

"Gah! Yeah, i-isn't that the game where you jack off a d-dog?" Tweek asked rubbing Stripes belly, which wasn't quite what he wanted.

"Yeah, my dad made me promise not to play it with Stripe anymore, so I want you to do it for me." I said smiling.

"N-n-no way Craig!" Tweek screamed as he stopped rubbing Stripes belly.

"Tweek we only have a minute and a half left until Red Racer comes on, so don't argue. I know you're nervous because you've never played before, but Stripe won't mind." I said knowing he'd never jacked off anything in his life.

"C-Craig I can't jack off y-your dog!" Tweek screamed, shaking as he did.

"Look, Tweek, it's easy." I said unzipping and pulling down my pants.

"W-what are you d-doing Craig?!?" Tweek screamed after seeing I had taken off my pants. I ignored him.

"GAH! JESUS CHRIST C-CRAIG! What are you doing!?!?!" Tweek screamed when I pulled down his zipper.

"Uhhh, getting you ready to play, duh." I said. Tweek was so stupid sometimes. "Look, Tweek, it won't be any fun if you don't do it too."

"But I can't jack-off both of us!" Tweek screamed as I grabbed my cock.

"Why?" I really don't get what his problem is. All I want is for him to jack himself and my dog off at the same time while we all watch Red Racer, what's so hard about that?

"Because I would need four hands! I have to use both hands or it won't work!" Tweek screamed as Stripe nudged Tweek to get ready to start.

"I never do, but if it's that big of a deal I'll do you and me." I said undoing his pants the rest of the way and grabbing his cock. I also wondered how he knew he would need two hands; it wasn't like he'd done this before.

"GAH! WHY DON'T YOU JUST DO STRIPE!" Tweek screamed really loudly for some reason.

"I told you I'm not aloud, so you have to. Oh it's starting!" I screamed while watching to make sure Tweek grabbed Stripes cock. Once he did I started to pump.

P.O.V. CHANGE

Craig started to pump both himself and me while I pumped Stripe. Craig seemed to be in his own zone as this went on. Luckily it didn't take Stripe long to come. As soon as he did I let go, I was having a problem maintaining myself with Craig pumping so fast.

It was weird Craig didn't even start out slow. He went at full speed, unlike I would for myself, and it felt so good. Craig kept so still himself, the only parts of his body that moved seemed to be his hands. He also didn't close his eyes; he just stared at the T.V.

I finally couldn't suppress my moan any longer.

"GAAAAH!" I moaned with my head tilted back. That's when my white liquid started pouring out, but he didn't stop. He kept going, even after he came. He didn't stop, he didn't moan, he just looked at the T.V.

Finally a commercial came on and he stopped.

P.O.V. CHANGE

A commercial came on which caused me to stop. As I said before I often got so involved in the show that I didn't even notice when I came. I looked over to Tweek who was sweating and panting, much like Stripe was. I let go of both our cocks and leaned in toward Tweek.

"Fun huh, Tweeky?" I asked smiling.

"Y-yeah, fun." Tweek said with his face getting red for some reason.

The rest of the time I was there was spent watching Red Racer, and talking during commercials. After Red Racer was over we cleaned up the newspaper and played with Stripe a little.

"Well I gotta get going. See ya here tomorrow?" I asked hoping he was okay with me and Stripe coming over on weekdays.

"Y-yeah, that'll be f-fine." Tweek said smiling and getting red again.

"Cool! See ya!" I said and Stripe turned his head to the right. Then we walked out the door happy to have a new place to watch T.V. and play red rocket.

P.O.V. CHANGE

"I-I can't wait for tomorrow!" I screamed feeling for the first time in my life like I didn't need coffee. "Well maybe just a cup."

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Well, should I leave it as a oneshot or continue until the boys realize there feelings? Well I guess that's for you guys to decide! Read and review! Well I guess you already read, but please tell me what you think! I also tried to make Craig oblivious to the world around him because if do a future chapter then I don't want him to be all clicky, like omg I suddenly like Tweek. I want it to be a more subtle thing where Craig doesn't understand what his friends keep telling him, or the way Tweek acts around him. I want it to be like the real world where he finally realizes what he's doing and the way it's affecting everyone. I think it could be good, but I need someone to tell me what they think before I'm willing to get really involved.


	2. When friends get involved

Well, I've finally figured out how to make new chapters (That only took weeks), but on the plus side I now have most of the story written.

Oh and thank you Lar-Lar and Madot for reviewing!

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.

-POGE

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When friends get involved

I met Clyde the next morning to walk to the bus stop. We walked in silence for awhile before he finally opened his trap.

"Look dude, I'm sorry about last night, but I can't let you do that shit at my house. I mean my parents would freak. So did you make it back home in time for Red Racer?" Clyde asked with a worried tone. He didn't want me mad at him, when I was mad there was hell to pay.

"Nah I-" I started only to get cut off by Clyde.

"DUDE, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to, please don't be pissed at me!" Clyde was begging me now.

You see last time I was mad at Clyde was in 7th grade. He ditched on movie plans with me to go spy on his on again off again girlfriend Bebe and her new boyfriend Kevin. I was pretty pissed because he lied and said his Aunt was deathly ill and he needed to comfort his mom.

I saw Mrs. Donavan walking out of the grocery store. I asked her how she was feeling and she looked at me funny. So I asked her how her sister was, and she laughed and told me both she and Mr. Donavan are only children and don't have any sisters.

Well needles to say I was pissed so I went to Tokens and asked him where Clyde's sorry ass was. He said he saw him 'sneaking' through the park after Bebe. So I walked to the park beat the shit out of Clyde and then told Kevin that Clyde was spying on them, so then Kevin beat him up.

Then for the next two weeks Clyde was known as the desperate, fatass, pussy. After two weeks he finally came to my house begging for forgiveness. It took me 13 minutes to make Clyde cool again. I told him if he wanted to do something other than what we had planned all he had to do was say so, hell I would have helped him spy for Gods sake!

We were all back to normal, and I even told Bebe that Kevin only won the fight because I hurt Clyde first and because all Kevin did was kick Clyde in the balls when he was already knocked down. Bebe didn't want to date a pussy so she dumped Kevin and went back to Clyde, who I told ahead of time to play hard to get. Let's just say Bebe gave Clyde the extra attention a playboy could never provide. (No not sex it's the 7th grade!)

Ever since then he has been afraid to make me mad. I told him I over reacted with beating him up, but he was always afraid of me being mad at him. In truth I think he was more hurt that I didn't seem to miss him. Also in truth, I missed hanging out with him a lot more than I let on; he's my bff as corny as it sounds.

Anyway, back to the present.

"Dude, chill. I went to Tweek's, who by the way was willing to help a guy out." I said sternly.

"He let you jack-off your dog at his house?" Clyde asked both surprised and amused.

"No, he did." I said simply.

"D-did what?!?" Clyde asked with wide eyes and an unusually high voice.

"He played red rocket with Stripe, and I red rocketed us." I said shrugging.

"WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!!!!" Clyde screamed loudly enough for some man to open his window and scream at us to shut up, I flipped that man off by the way.

"What's the big deal? I guess he can't do it with just one hand or whatever so since I promised Dad I'd never play it with Stripe again I told Tweek to do Stripe and I'd take care of both of us. It made the most sense, really." I said happy to outsmart Clyde with my logical thinking.

"SENSE, SENSE! Craig, maybe you don't understand how un-logical that is!" He screamed but started to lower his tone. "Craig you jacked-off another guy, it's one thing to WATCH another guy jack-off in a hot tub, but to jack-off another guy who at that moment was jacking-off your dog is... It's… It's... It's just weird okay, not to mention gay. You made a sexual advance on Tweek. Tweek! Poor innocent Tweek got jacked-off in his own living room by you, while he was doing you a favor! Look we're almost at the stop, so I want you to stand there and-and think about what you've done!" Clyde said walking a little ahead of me. I honestly don't understand him some times.

I went to my normal spot in between Clyde and Tweek.

"Hey guys" I said staring strait ahead.

"Hey." Was Tokens simple response.

"Gah! H-hey C-Craig!" Tweek said smiling at me brightly yet nervously.

"SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!" Ms. Crabtree screamed at as when she pulled up and opened the bus door.

Token went on the bus first today, followed by Clyde who still looked distressed.

"Shut up you stupid ho." Clyde whispered.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Ms. Crabtree asked.

"I said I really think we should go." Clyde answered quickly.

"Oh, me too." Mrs. Crabtree said smiling.

Then I walked on the bus and flipped off Ms. Crabtree.

"YOU JUST FLIPPED ME OFF!" She screamed.

"No I didn't." I said as simply as ever.

"Oh, okay." She said dismissively

Then Tweek followed me onto the bus where Clyde was sitting with Token. It was a little odd, but I didn't take any offence and sat down across from them, and then Tweek plopped down by me.

As normal we were loud and out of control all the way to school until Ms. Crabtree stopped the bus shouting "GET OFF THE BUS!"

We didn't need told twice as we all got off the bus. Then we got to the hall where our lockers were. They were in alphabetical order by first names so Tweek and Token would go to the right to find there lockers while Clyde and I would go left.

When we were out of hearing distance Clyde spoke up.

"Did you think about what you did?" He asked me sternly.

"Not really." I said truthfully.

"God damnit. Look, meet me in the ally at lunch so we can talk about this." He said referring to the ally where the smokers, Goths, and anyone else who skipped class hung out.

"Whatever." I said grabbing the books I needed for the first half of the day. I watched him do the same and then we met up with Token and Tweek, and we all walked to the homeroom class we shared.

Today went a lot better, mainly because Ms. Garrison wasn't in a bad mood. The class really had Tweek to thank for that, not that any of them knew. Tweek would never brag about anything.

Before I knew it, it was lunch time. I started to walk to lunch, but then remembered Clyde wanted to talk to me.

I started toward the ally when I ran into Tweek. "H-hey Craig. Where are you going? Nngh." Tweek asked following me.

"I'm going to meet Clyde; it'll just be you and Token at lunch today, at least for awhile." I said smiling at him.

"O-okay I'll-nngh-tell Token." Tweek said frowning slightly; I don't like it when Tweek frowns.

"Hey, wanna watch a movie at my house on Saturday?" I asked stopping to turn toward him.

"Gah! Y-yeah, sure Craig!" Tweek said smiling and turning to go to lunch.

"See ya later Tweek!" I shouted down the hall at him while opening the door to the ally, Tweek just waved and smiled. Oh and twitched, but that's normal.

I stepped into the ally where I was immediately drug to the side.

"You want to buy something, eh?" I looked, and saw the face of none other than The Mole.

"No, I'm good." I said pushing him away and walking farther down the ally. I walked past a group of Goth kids who started to stare at me as I walked down the ally. Finally one of the boys walked up to me.

He had black hair with a red streak. He was wearing a black shirt and purple pants. He also had on dark make-up, he freaked me out. He was shaking his hips and staring at me.

"Hey hot-stuff. I bet you're hung like a horse, how'd you to put it to me?" He said snaking his arms around my neck.

"Are you hitting on me?" I asked wondering why he was standing so close and what he was talking about. What did he mean hung like a horse? He's weird.

"Of course, how could I resist an ass like that?" He asked standing on his tiptoes to look over my shoulder at my ass.

"I'm not gay." I said braking out of his grasp and continuing on my way down the ally. At the end of the ally I saw Clyde tapping his foot. I walked up to him and leaned against the wall.

"It's about time." Clyde said giving me an angry look.

"I got held up." I said frowning at the memory of the Goth boy.

"Whatever, look I wanna talk to you about Tweek." Clyde whispered to me.

"What about him?" I asked raising one of my eyebrows.

"About you jacking him off!" Clyde hissed in my ear.

"I don't understand." I don't know why he's getting so worked up; I mean we were just playing a game.

"Dude I'm just gonna strait-up ask you, are you gay?" Clyde asked me with a hand on my shoulder.

"Uhhh, no." I said with my eyebrows raised. I mean that Goth kid was hitting on me, at least I think that's what he was doing.

"Dude, okay, whatever, just answer me this, if you aren't gay then why'd you jack off another guy?" He asked me with a look on his face similar to this . 

"Dude I already told you, he needs both hands to play red rocket, I only need one, so since I promised Dad I wouldn't red rocket Stripe I had Tweek do it for me." I said annoyed, Clyde can be really dense sometimes.

"But why'd you jack-off Tweek?" He asked me while shaking his hands.

"Because it'd be no fun for him to play if couldn't red rocket too." I said simply.

"Dude, lets just go to lunch because your eyes are turning really brown, probably because you're so full of shit." Clyde said walking back down the ally.

"But my eyes are always really brown." I said not understanding what he was trying to imply.

"Dude, we'll talk about this again later, until then try not to mess with Tweek." He said shaking his head.

"I'm going to his house tonight." I said walking into the school, but not before I heard Clyde scream "GOD DAMNIT CRAIG!"

Clyde's P.O.V.

It wasn't long before I was at the last class of the day, history, which Garrison didn't teach.

No one ever paid attention in our history class, except Cartman when we were talking about Hitler, but that was to be expected. This fact made it easier to talk to Token.

"Look, Token, I'm having a problem with Craig." I whispered to Token even though Craig and Tweek were in math class and couldn't hear me.

"What, wait don't tell me, you finally realized how full of shit he is?" Token asked laughing a little. Craig and Token were friends, don't get me wrong, but they weren't as close as they could've been.

Token had a lot of common since and good grades. He was also a good athlete, could play bass, and a chick magnet; the only reason Token didn't stick to Craig like me and Tweek did was because he was jealous.

What you ask is there to be jealous of? Well Craig's a badass, he's a better athlete, he plays drums, and Wendy dumped Token to date Craig.

Well I guess it was more like TRY to date Craig because he told her A.) He didn't want anything Stan Marsh had touched, B.) Wendy was a whore, C.) He'd never date Tokens ex, and finally my favorite D.) He wanted to dominate, not be dominated. Then he told Wendy to go fuck with Bebe because it was obvious she needed a girl or a really big pussy. Then he proceeded to tell Wendy all the reasons why he wasn't a pussy and why he was dominant.

Either way, it burned Token that Wendy would want Craig over himself. I never really cared I liked them both, and Wendy hasn't hit on me yet, so life's good; well other than the Craig and Tweek problem.

"Well, yes and no, but before I give you any details though you have to promise to keep your trap shut." I said glaring at him, he'd never told any of my secrets before but it was always good to make sure he wouldn't tell, especially if it involved Craig.

"Of course dude. What's wrong with him?" Token asked giving me his full attention.

"Well, Craig jacked-off Tweek." I whispered.

"HE DID WHAT!?!?!?!!??!??!???!!!!?!?!!" Token screamed so loud I'm sure the whole school heard him.

"Is there a problem Mr. Black?" Our teacher asked us.

"No Ma'am, and for the last time my last name isn't Black it's-" Token was interrupted by me before he could finish.

"He's sorry, it won't happen again." I said smiling.

"It better not happen again, or Mr. Black, here, will land himself a detention." She said turning back to the board and resuming her speech on the Reconstruction.

"My last nam-" Again I stopped him.

"Does it matter? We've got a bigger problem to deal with right now." I said glaring at him.

"Huh, I guess you're right. Now what do you mean he jacked-off Tweek?" Token said a little calmer.

"What do you mean what do I mean?!? How many ways can someone be jacked-off?!?" I hissed in Tokens ear.

"Look I don't know, it's just, I can't believe he'd do that to Tweek. I mean he obviously forced Tweek to let him do it. I always thought he cared about Tweek a lot, but enough to do THAT. It's weird." Token said more calmly then he normally would.

Token ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS overreacts to everything. This was defiantly strange behavior.

"I actually don't think he forced him. Craig said he played Red Rocket with Tweek. I don't really think Craig understands what he did. He thinks it's a game. I mean he had Tweek jacking-off his dog while he did it." I said simply.

"How could anyone think jacking-off their best friend is a game?" Token asked me simply.

"Okay first off, I'M his best friend not Tweek," I always had to keep telling myself this, sometimes I worried Tweek WOULD take my spot as Craig's BFF. "Second, it's Craig. Ya know, the guy who jacks-off his dog on a regular basis, even when WE'RE there. The guy who jumped off the bridge at the putt-putt golf course just so he could tell people he jumped off a bridge, and broke his leg doing so, and let us not forget the time he tried to sell his left pinky toe on e-bay so he could pay to go to the movies. Do you really think he knows the difference?" I asked seriously

"I guess not. So what do you want from me?" Token asked nervously.

Which threw me off, why was he acting so weird?

"Talk to Tweek, don't tell him you know just get it out of him, shouldn't be too hard." I said simply. Then the bell rang, so I ran out of the room without waiting for Tokens reply.

Craig's P.O.V.

When math ended I grabbed Tweek by the arm and ran. I shoved all of my books into my backpack, and then ran to Tweeks locker and did the same. Then I led him out of the school and ran to his house.

When we finally got to his house we were both panting. Tweek managed to take out his key and unlock his door in only a minute, a new record, and then we stepped inside.

"Why-nngh-did we have to run again?" Tweek asked pouring some coffee into a mug.

"So I have time to lay down newspaper and call home to tell my sister where I am." I said laying newspaper on the floor.

"W-What about Stripe?" Tweek asked me as he finished his coffee and began to pour another.

"I let him outside before I left and told him to meet me here at 3:10." I told Tweek as I finished my news papering job.

"And you-nngh-really think he'll come?" Tweek asked as he finished his second cup and put it in the sink.

"Yeah, why wouldn't he?" I asked confused.

Then right on time I heard Stripe barking at the door.

"Told you." I said as I opened the door for Stripe.

Stripe walked in and after licking my hand, walked over to sit in front of the T.V.

"H-here's t-the phone C-Craig-nngh!" Tweak screamed handing me the phone.

"Thanks." I said talking the phone and entering my number. My sister picked up on the 3rd ring.

"Hey shitbreak I'm at Tweeks." I said using an annoyed tone.

"Is that the crazy one who is afraid of underwear?" My sister asked laughing.

"He's afraid of underwear GNOMES, not underwear. Just tell mom where I am if she gets home early." I said about to hang up.

"Are you going to jack-off Stripe again?" She asked discussed.

"Nope." And with that I hung up.

"Okay, now that that's taken care of we can get ready." I said sitting down and patting the spot beside me. Tweek promptly sat down beside me. I pulled my jeans down and then turned to Tweek who was struggling with his jeans.

"Having trouble?" I asked laughing and undoing the button of his pants. Then I pulled them the rest of the way down for him. He was too shaky to do it himself.

"T-thanks-nngh-C-Craig!" Tweek said pulling out his cock on his own this time. This time I took a second to look at it. It was bigger than Stripes, but smaller than mine. It wasn't that much smaller than mine though. It was cool looking, I liked it, and it fit in my hand well too.

Tweek's P.O.V.

It was weird. All of a sudden he started to look at my penis. He hadn't done that before. He stared at it, then at Stripe, then at himself, then to his hand, and then he just smiled. Then he pulled his penis out and held it like he wanted me to look at it.

"JESUS CHRIST!" I screamed looking at it.

It was bigger than mine by 1 1/2 maybe 2 inches, but that could change once we were hard. I knew I was only like 5 inches long when I was hard. I kinda wondered how big he would get, but that just scared me.

"AWW! JESUS! NNGH!" I was shaking a lot now, but that happens when I'm scared. I knew I shouldn't be thinking about Craig's penis, but it's hard not to when it's right there.

"I like yours, it's cool." Craig suddenly said.

"GAH! I-I l-like y-y-yours too! GAH! JESUS CHRIST!" I screamed not really knowing what to say. I mean what do you say when another guy says he thinks your penis is cool?

Craig's P.O.V.

I smiled, I'm glad he likes mine. I then grabbed his penis and stroked it a little bit. I normally did this with Stripe before the show came on, but we hadn't had the time yesterday.

Tweek seemed surprised, but didn't protest. Stripe walked over to him and Tweek started to do the same with Stripe. We went nice and slow. I didn't do this for myself, but I thought Tweek might like it. He seemed to. He looked happy enough. His eyes were half closed and he was sweating.

I decided to help the sweating problem. I stopped which I think puzzled him, and started to unbutton his shirt.

"GAH! C-CRAIG, what are you d-doing!" Tweek screamed letting go of Stripe.

"You're sweating. I'm taking off your shirt so you can cool off." I said as I continued unbuttoning his shirt. When I was done I laid it to the side.

I smiled and then again took his cock while he had Stripes. I then remembered my own which was kinda stiff. That was weird. Normally I had to touch it for that to happen. I shrugged it off. Then the show started.

Tweek's P.O.V.

Once again he went into his zone. I hurried as best I could to finish with Stripe so I could relax. It was hard to jack-off Stripe, while Craig…Well…Red rocketed me.

It didn't take long so I finally relaxed a little. I let pleasure take me over. I moaned a lot and I knew it. Craig didn't seem fazed though, so no harm done.

When the commercial finally came I looked toward Craig.

He was smiling at me, and Stripe had walked over to lie on the other side of Craig.

We kept watching the show, and when commercials came on we talked. When the show was over we were content on talking. I was finally starting to get back to my spazzy self when Craig stood up.

Craig's P.O.V.

"I gotta go. My dad's going to come home from work soon. He'll think I'm gay if I'm not home by 6:00." I said helping Tweek up.

"That's cool." He said smiling at me oddly, like he didn't understand.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow." I said as I opened the door to leave, but then turning back around. I ran my hand down Tweeks chest and stomach. I had been debating about it, but in the end I wanted to feel his ribs. They were sticking out like always. I don't know why, but I felt a need to rub his chest. After a bit of rubbing I stopped.

"You need to eat more, you anorexic." I joked as I walked out and closed the door. All I heard from inside the house was one long scream.

"JESUS CHRIST! I'M ANOREXIC!"

"Lets go home Stripe." I smiled leaving Tweek to scream on his own.


	3. Craig, dude, you're just stupid

Well here's the next chapter of Red Rocket Racer. The next chapter should be out soon, but the one after might take awhile longer, but I'll do what I can.

Thank you again Lar-lar for you positive review! You really help keep me going!

That being said other reviews would be appreciated, especially criticism.

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or its characters, however the plot is mine so please don't steal it.

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Craig, dude, you're just stupid

Craig's P.O.V. 

I woke up to my alarm clock at 7:00. I got up and got dressed once again in my blue jacket and black pants. Then I went down stairs to the kitchen where my mom was making waffles, my favorite.

"Stripe, waffles!" I screamed to Stripe who was asleep on the couch. He had fallen asleep there last night and I didn't want to wake him.

I heard him running toward the kitchen and smiled.

"Good morning Craig!" My mother greeted smiling. She then sat 3 waffles in front of me. They were smothered in peanut butter and syrup, just how I liked them. Then she sat 2 plain waffles down by Stripe. We both ate happily.

"So Craig your sister said you went to Tweeks house yesterday." My mother said sitting down and flipping me off.

"Yep." I said starting on my 2nd waffle.

"So what'd you two do?" My mother asked, and I'd bet a months worth of allowance that my dad told her to ask me.

"We watched Red Racer." I said still eating my waffles.

"Then what?" My mother asked knowing Red Racer ended at 4:00 and I was at Tweeks until at least 5:00. 

"We played with Stripe and talked about how stupid school was." I said shoving the 3rd waffle in my mouth.

"You talked about school for an hour?" My mother asked disbelieving.

"We talked about other stuff, but mostly school. Plus we played with Stripe for, like, half an hour." I said putting both me and Stripes plates in the sink.

"Oh, and where are you going after school today?" My mom asked, God was she nosy. 

"Probably Clyde's, but maybe Tweeks again, it depends on if Clyde is still PMSing. I can't stand it when he's acting like that." I said flipping her off. I knew I was going to Tweeks but she didn't need to know that. I also knew telling her I couldn't stand Clyde acting like a pussy it would make me look like I couldn't stand gays.

"Oh, okay honey. Have a good day." My mom said flipping me off.

Then I flipped her off and grabbed my backpack. I walked to the door, and right as I was about a foot away from the door, I heard a knock. I opened the door and there was Clyde.

"Hey dude." He said nodding. I nodded back and flipped him off.

"Let's go dude." I said pushing him out the door. "Bye Stripe! I love you!" I screamed waving at Stripe who barked happily at me and turned his head to the right."

Tweek's P.O.V.

I'd have to say yesterday was weird, and not just the Craig stuff. After Craig left Token called me asking if I'd walk to school with him today instead of taking the bus. I told him I would, but it's weird he asked. I do have some theories about it though: 

He's going to kill me and leave me for dead in the woods. (I doubt it he's my friend)

He's in a fight with Craig and he wants to piss Craig off by stealing his friends.

(That's happened before, but I doubt it.)

It's none of the above. (I think we have a winner!)

Well I arrived at Tokens house at 7:20 and rung the doorbell. His mom soon answered the door. "Tweek, honey, come in." Tokens mom said smiling.

I like Tokens mom. She's nice and really treats all of Tokens friends like we're her own. "Tokens in his room hun, up the stairs 3rd door on the left." She said smiling. "O-okay. Thank you." I said starting up the stairs. It's not like I've never been here before but I always forget where his room is, his house is just so big. When I got to Tokens room I knocked.

"Come in!" Token screamed causing me to jump. "JESUS CHRIST!" I screamed opening his door and walking into his room.

"Oh, Tweek, ummm, s-sit down." Token said. Now I'm really afraid. Token hardly ever stutters and he's never nervous.

"T-token are you alright? You're acting k-kinda funny." I said sitting down on Tokens bed.

"N-no I'm just dandy!" Token said happily. Now I know he's lying. Whenever Token lies or is nervous he says stupid words from the 80's like dandy.

"I'm swell, I'm feeling hip and terrific!" He said sweating.

"Why are you lying, what's going on-nngh?" I asked starting to sweat myself.

"Look it's just that, umm, well, uhhh-" Token didn't get to finish.

"Honey, you and Tweek better leave or you're going to be late." His mom said leaving the room once again.

"Yeah we'd better go, dude." Token said rushing out of the room. He was defiantly acting strange. 

Token's P.O.V.

I had made it to school earlier today with Tweek at my heels. I had somehow managed to keep Tweek from talking too much on the way to school. How, you ask? ...I ran….Fast. 

I felt bad but I couldn't tell him why I was so uneasy. I wanted to, I really did, but I couldn't. It's not even what's going on with him and Craig; well it sort of is, but not really. And I mean I haven't even told Clyde, and he's my best friend! Well actually he's _Craig's_ best friend….Stupid douche Craig…

"Hey dude 'sup?" Clyde asked me walking over to my desk in homeroom.

"Nothing." I replied sourly. I was still a little pissed.

"So where were you and Tweek this morning?" He asked me sitting down in the desk beside mine. "Talking to him about Craig, I hope." He added softly looking at Craig and Tweek talking by the doorway.

"Well, I s-started too." I answered looking down at my desk.

"God. Damn. It. Token. Do you realize what's happening between them? Do you?" He asked me pointing toward where Craig and Tweek where still standing. That did it.

"No, Clyde, no I don't know what's happening with them!" I hissed at him. "But you know something, it's not my business! Who the Hell cares what they do! Ya know what Clyde why don't you try staying out of Craig's ass for once in your life and let him figure things out on his own!" I glared at him. I was beyond pissed.

"D-dude, I didn't mean it like that." Clyde said giving me a dejected look and then turning his gaze to his desk.

"Clyde I'm just having a hard time with this whole Tweek and Craig thing okay, it's not your fault." I said sighing, it really wasn't his fault.

"Do I get in Craig's business that much?" Clyde asked me looking up.

"No. No you don't, you're just a concerned friend. I-I just… I don't…Dude I need to tell you something." I say in a huff.

"Okay," He said smiling at me and looking me in the eye with his huge innocent eyes. "What's up?"

"I can't tell you here." I answered quickly.

"That's cool, how about tonight after I talk to Cra-" He stopped talking mid sentence and looked at me. "Is me talking to Craig still a good idea?" He asked simply.

"Dude, somebody has to or Tweek will be jacking-off Stripe until he's 25." I said smiling.

"Good, then how about I talk to Craig tonight while you talk to Tweek, then we'll meet up at my house at like 7:00? You don't have to talk to Tweek about it of course, only if you want to." Clyde said smiling a wide grin.

"I'll try dude, but my parents are taking my Grandma out to dinner for her 97th birthday tonight at around 6:00 and I'm kinda suppose to be there." I told him honestly.

"That's cool, you can tell me your 'BIG' secret tomorrow at lunch, sound good?" He asked me calmly.

"Sounds good." I said just as the bell rang.

Tweek's P.O.V.

Craig once again dragged me home where once again we met Stripe; that dog was smart. I watched Craig lay down newspaper for awhile, and then I went and grabbed a cup of coffee. I scarped down two more cups before returning to the living room and Craig.

"Sit down Tweekers, it's about to start!" Craig said smiling like a child; it made me nervous all over again.

"O-okay Craig." I sat down next to Craig and this time he just went strait for my pants zipper which he might have gotten to had the door not opened. I grabbed his hand and held it at my side so whoever walked in wouldn't see that Craig was trying to undo my pants. Craig tensed and my mom walked in.

"Hello Tweek! Oh and Craig, you're hear too what a surprise! How have you been?" My mom asked him cheerfully.

"F-fine." Craig said still tense. 

"W-w-what are-nngh-you doing here?" I screamed at my mom.

"Oh, you're father ran out of change for the register so I came to get more." My mom said calmly. I would believe her for now.

Craig's P.O.V.

What's going on? He's holding my hand. Things were fine and normal and now he's holding my hand! What the Hell? This is gay, this is really gay. Two guys holding hands is GAY. So why is he holding my hand? Is Tweek gay? What if Tweek's gay? What do I do then?

"GAH! C-Craig my mom left." Tweek said letting go of my hand, thank God.

"Good. That's good." I said looking at the ground. I raised my head to look at Tweeks face he was looking at me funny. Then I heard that familiar theme music and saw Tweek grab Stripe and start to pump. I quickly got out my cock and then Tweeks. 

Normally I zone out, I watch the T.V. but now…I keep looking at Tweek. Tweeks face, his hands, his cock in MY hand. 

"AHHHHH!" Tweek moaned. He MOANED. Had that happened before? I couldn't recall. He kept moaning. He got louder; I came. I moaned; he came. The commercial came, which is good because he was looking at me. I looked down, I was confused. I never moaned, I don't remember Tweek moaning. What happened! Why did he have to hold my hand!

"JESUS CHRIST! Craig a-are y-y-you okay?" Tweek asked me.

No. "Yeah, I'm fine Tweeks." I'm not okay.

"O-oh, okay." He said back.

We didn't talk the rest of the show at all. We sat in silence, awkward silence, until the show was over. Just as the show ended there was a knock on the door.

"I GOT IT!" I screamed needing a distraction.

I answered the door only to find Clyde standing there smiling at me.

"Wow would you look who it is, it's Clyde! Well Tweek it's been fun, but I've got to go Clyde needs me for…Something. I'll catch ya later!" And with that Clyde, Stripe, and I left Tweek alone.

Token's P.O.V.

I watched as Craig and Clyde walked down the street with Stripe at their heels; I was so nervous. I knocked on the door not really wanting to talk to Tweek.

"GAH!" I heard Tweek scream before he opened the door.

"Hey Tweek, how's it going?" I asked pretending to be confident.

"Bad." Tweek said not stuttering. He turned and walked into his house and I following figuring that him leaving the door open was permission.

We sat on the couch where I had a clear view of the mess Tweek and Craig had left, it was disgusting. I looked over at Tweek instead who was looking at his feet intently.

"So why are things bad?" I asked already assuming it had something to do with Craig.

"It's C-Craig-nngh-he's…He's confusing me…a lot. And today he GAH really confused me." Tweek said.

I knew he was going to tell me everything that I didn't want to hear, and confirm all of Clyde's suspicions. He was going to break down and I'd have to deal with it.

Tweek hasn't had a break down since grade school. He use to have break downs daily, he was so shaky, but Craig handled it. Craig could calm him down the fastest; he was the only guy willing to just hold him in public and whisper in his ear. I've always wondered what Craig said to Tweek those days, always. Craig said he told Tweek he'd beat his ass if he cried anymore, but I've nether believed that. I didn't want to think about it, but maybe Craig was always gay for Tweek, even in middle school. I hate to think about it though.

"H-how did he c-confuse you?" I asked stuttering again. I was sooo good at this.

"D-did you k-know that h-h-he plays red rocket with h-his-nngh-dog?" Tweek asked me.

I gulped. "Y-yeah I know." Again I stuttered.

"GAH! W-well we played…I played w-with Stripe…He played with GAH himself…And me…" He whispered the last part, but it didn't matter, this was proving to be to much for me to handle. 

"R-really…That's…That is to say…I gotta go dude!" I screamed and ran out of his house. I ran all the way home and up to my room. When I got there it was only 5:15-5:20. I didn't care; I slammed my head down on the pillow and cried. I couldn't believe I was crying, but I was ashamed of myself. I knew I needed to talk to Clyde really bad now, my problem was bad…Really bad.

Clyde's P.O.V.

"Slow down Craig! What's the rush?" I asked jogging to keep up with him. After we left Tweek's he zoomed off. 

"No rush, just walking." He said in a daze.

"So how's Tweek?" I asked. He stopped in front of me.

"Can we please not talk about this? At least not here." Craig asked me.

"Did something happen with Tweek?" I asked with wide eyes.

"Not here." He replied simply.

"Okay fine. Let's go to the clearing behind Stark's Pond." I said already heading in that direction.

"Okay." He answered simply following me.

The walk to the clearing was silent and almost unbearable. I hated the silence and it just left me wondering what could have happened, I mean unless they had sex or something… Shit.

We sat down it the clearing and I wasted no time getting down to business.

"So what happened; tell me?" I turned to Craig who suddenly found an interest in the hem of his shirt. 

"Well?" I asked. His silent treatment was pissing me off big time.

"He confused me." Craig simply stated.

What kind of answer is that? 'He confused me' I mean what the fuck.

"I'm gonna need more detail from ya buddy." I said patting his shoulder. He scooted away from my touch.

"Everything was fine then he grabbed my hand! Then his mom came in, but he was still holding me hand! Why did he do that! Everything was fine then you started trying to make me uncomfortable! Why did you do that! And then he had to hold my fucking hand! That's so gay! It's really gay and he did it anyway! I just wanted to play red rocket and then he had to hold my hand an-" I had to cut Craig off there.

"Wait, Craig, repeat that last sentence for me." I said smiling.

"I just wanted to play red rocket and then had to hold my hand-" I cut him off again.

"Now Craig let's think about this. Playing red rocket with a boy is strait, but a guy holding your hand is gay?" I asked trying to make him catch where I was going with this.

"Yeah! What's your point?" He asked.

"Craig, dude, you're just stupid."


	4. Token and Homos

Okay everyone, here's the deal

Okay everyone, here's the deal. I've been trying to hold up posting this chapter to spend more time writing the next one. Sadly the next chapter is not done. I'm hoping to have it out within a month. Also there are only a few more chapters to go; probably 3 max.

Oh and a few reviews may help me write faster-hint hint- Speaking of which…

A big thank you to Mr. R, Lar-lar, and Madot! You guys rock!

Mr. R: I encourage you to not only get an account, but try to write! Because I also hope your day comes; and when it does tell me and I'd be happy to read it.

Lar-lar: I'm glad to have your reviews. You've reviewed every chapter and it makes me extremely happy, especially since I love your stories!

Madot: I'm glad to have you reviewing especially since I know you have your own story to worry about.

I would also like to tell everyone to check out Madot and lar-lar's stories. They are both good writers and I'm sure they would appreciate your reviews!

Okay one more thing; you were all WRONG about Tokens problem!

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park

Token and homos

Clyde's P.O.V.

The walk to the bus stop was lonely today. Craig and I didn't walk together; I stopped at his house, but his mom said he had already left. The bus stop came into view and I saw quite a sight.

Craig was leaned up against the street sign away from his usual spot by Tweek; Token was staring at the ground with his hands in his pockets at least 3 feet away from Tweek and probably 7 from Craig, while Tweek just stood shaking.

"Hey guys." I said waving at the group.

Token looked up at me with sad eyes then quickly looked back down. Tweek squeaked, and Craig didn't bother looking at me; he looked at Tweek instead, but quickly turned back away.

I went and stood in-between Token and Tweek. We all stood in silence, except for Tweek's random cries, until the bus pulled up.

We all got on the bus with no problem; none of us said anything to Ms. Crabtree. But what was most surprising was that Craig didn't flip her off.

"DID YOU JUST…Not flip me off?" Ms. Crabtree asked confused.

Everyone on the bus stared at him as he answered.

"What's the point?" He then sat down next to Butters, who was happy to have the company.

"Well, gee, hello Craig!"

"Shut up Butters."

That left Tweek sitting alone while Token and I sat together. It looked like Tweek was going to cry; he just stared at Craig like he thought he would get up and say 'Just kidding Tweekster!' but he didn't.

When the bus stopped Ms. Crabtree didn't even have the heart to yell so we all just walked off the bus.

I watched as Craig walked off joining Jason and Kevin, while Tweek just walked on looking lost.

"Token, I know you don't like the subject, but did Tweek say anything?" I asked.

"I'll talk to you in the ally at lunch." Token told me running off.

Tweek's P.O.V.

I walked to my locker and got out my books and headed for class. Everything was fuzzy; I didn't understand what happened. I dropped my books on my desk and went quickly to the boy's bathroom. Once I was there I locked myself in a stall and cried. No one was going to help me; Craig didn't want anything to do with me anymore, and Token always seemed to run away from me. All that left was Clyde, but Clyde was Craig's BFF; that left me alone.

All I can manage to do is cry like the pussy I am.

Craig's P.O.V.

I walked into the boy's bathroom after dropping my books off on my desk. As soon as I walked into the room I heard loud blubbering. Now normally I would ignore it or call the kid a puss, but I recognized the sound. It was…Tweek.

I stood there just listening to the pained sobs; it took me a minute to realize he wasn't the only one crying. I was too. Silent tears rolled down my face. I walked up to his stall and opened it, the school was to poor to afford locks, and there I saw him crying like a girl.

He looked up and saw me and all of a sudden I was holding him. He climbed into my lap, just like when we were kids and he broke down. We both sat there crying for a while before he asked me a question.

"Why are you mad at me?"

"Because you confuse me, and I hate it." I answered.

"Do you hate me?" He asked twitching in the crook of my neck.

"No…I could never hate you, you're my Tweekster." I said without thinking about it, but it was true.

He just cuddled further into the crook of my neck, and I liked it…More than I think I'm supposed to.

Token's P.O.V.

I passed by the lunch room and walked into the ally; past the Goths, the smokers, and even the mole. I kept going until I saw Clyde, then I stopped, took a deep breath and walked over beside him.

"Hey dude." Clyde said simply.

"Hey." I said looking at the ground.

"So, what happened with Tweek?" Clyde asked me calmly.

"He didn't say anything we didn't know." I said looking at the ground.

"Nothing?" Clyde asked surprised.

"I ran away, okay!" I hissed at him.

"Dude, it's okay, I'm not mad at you." Clyde said patting my shoulder.

"Well I am." I said looking at the ground.

"Dude does this have something to do with the thing you had to tell me?" Clyde asked bending over to look me in the eyes.

"Yes." I said lightly.

"What is it? Why have you been so uneasy about the whole Craig and Tweek thing? I mean unless you're gay for- Oh my God that's it isn't it! You want Craig!" He hissed.

"NO! Dude are you crazy I hate Craig, he a fucking dumbass!" I hissed back discussed Clyde would think such a thing.

"Tweek?"

"NO! I'm not gay!" I yelled at Clyde.

"Then what's wrong unless- you're a homophobe?"

"Yeah dude, I am." I said tearing up.

"But you don't want to be?" He said looking me strait in the eyes.

"Of course not, I don't WANT to be so close minded, I just am. It creeps me out." I said returning his gaze. I was so ashamed, my friends were going threw a crises and I couldn't help them because I was closed minded. ME! I'm a fucking black kid, and I'm afraid of homos!

"You're gonna hate me." Clyde said leaning in and pressing his lips to mine.

Clyde's P.O.V.

I pressed my lips to Tokens. I pressed lightly at first, but then he started to struggle; I simply pressed harder. I put Token up against the brick wall and shoved my lips to his as hard as possible. He was still fighting me. I took the risk of getting my tongue bitten off and shoved it in Tokens mouth.

He seemed surprised, but didn't bite me. I kept moving my tongue against his while keeping my body against his to keep him in place. He hadn't struggled in awhile, so I finally moved away from Token.

"Dude, what the hell?!" Token screeched.

"I'm sorry man, but before you get to mad how do you feel about Craig and Tweek?" I asked hoping Token didn't hit me.

"I don't care I'm a little bus-" I cut Token off there.

"You don't care?" I asked raising one eyebrow.

I-I don't…Care. I don't care! I DON'T CARE! I'm not a homophobe!" Token screamed jumping up and down.

"Me either, how about we talk about it with our tongues." Some random goth kid said walking up to us and rubbing Tokens arm.

"Umm, how about you back off before I break your face." I said smiling at the goth. I didn't want Token dealing with the Goths yet; they were too gay.

"Oh honey you can join in too." The goth said smiling back and smacking my ass.

"We're not like that." I said glaring at him and turning so my butt was out of reach. Fucking goth didn't know who he was messing with.

"You seemed 'like that' to me." He said smiling walking closer to me.

"Well we're not, come on Clyde, lets go." Token said finally joining the argument.

"Fine." I said following Token into the school, leaving a pissed off and rejected goth kid.

Once we got inside the school Token did something to surprise me. He kissed me.

"W-what the hell?" I asked confused. I mean he just got over being a homophobe and now he wants to kiss a guy? That's more than a little weird.

"I-I'm sorry I don't know I just kinda wanted to, I don't know." He said turning away from me confused.

I had a decision to make; I could kiss him, drop it, or cuss him out. I didn't have to think long though.

"Don't worry about it," I said smiling and turning him to face me again. "You can kiss me anytime." I said kissing him roughly.

Craig's P.O.V.

After me and Tweek got out of the bathroom we went on with our day as we normally would, with the exception of me avoiding Clyde; I didn't want Mr. let's talk about our feelings to know what happened.

I did manage to avoid him the first half of the day, and come lunch time he was gone.

"So where's Clyde and Token." I asked sitting down beside Tweek at our usual lunch table.

"JESUS! Don't sneak up one me-nngh- like that! You'll give me a heart attack and I'll die!" Tweek screeched at me as he drank the coffee he had brought to school.

"Sorry Tweek, I'll try not to put you in anymore life threatening situations." I said rolling my eyes. "But seriously, where are they?" I asked shoving, like, 12 french-fries in my mouth at once.

"I-I saw them walking-nngh-out to the ally." Tweek said snatching a french-fry from my tray.

I rolled my eyes. He always took my French-fries. Every time we had them he would manage to eat at least half of mine, even if he bought his own. The little fucker had a thing for fries, especially curly fries. I mean it wouldn't be so bad if just dipped them in ketchup, but he dips them in his coffee. I mean come on, that's a little weird, oh well.

"Looks like it's just the two of us then." I smiled and grabbed the half of french-fry that wasn't in Tweeks mouth and shoved it into my own mouth.

"H-hey!" He yelled at me glaring.

"It was mine; I can take it from you if I want." I said smiling and shoving a hand full of fries into my mouth.

"D-d-dick." He frowned stealing yet another fry.

"Hey, I have one of those!" I said smiling at him.

"No kidding, it's h-huge…."

"Did you just say…"

"Umm, GAH! I-I um…"

I laughed so hard. Tweek was tomato red. I can't believe he would say that.

"T-thanks Tweek," I said still laughing a bit. "You're not so bad yourself." I said putting my hand on his thigh.

"JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY!" Tweek yelled. Then I raised my hand a little higher up and started rubbing his thigh.

Now it did register in my head that what I was doing was bad, but I figured it's not like I haven't touched him before; this times just different circumstances, that's all.

I rubbed in little circles around his inner thigh; it really was no different than with a girl I decided. While I've never had sex I had made it to 3rd base, so I know what I'm doing.

I was bored so I was about to stop when I felt the fabric in Tweeks jeans stretch. A bulge. Suddenly I wasn't bored anymore. I looked at the clock on the cafeteria wall. 12 minutes left of lunch. I could work with that.

Tweek was keeping quiet, at least as much as usual. The good thing about Tweek was people were use to his screaming.

I brought my hand up to his bulge and brushed it with my finger tips. Tweek shivered. I liked that, it seamed…appealing. Then I put my hand in his pants; luckily he was wearing his baggy pants today. They were baggy enough to fit my hand in, even with his…Erection.

I knew I should pull my hand out now, but I didn't want to, not yet.

"C-Craig." Tweek whimpered.

"Not yet Tweeky, just one more minute." I couldn't believe I said that to him, but God I felt good, like I was on top of the world.

He didn't say anything so I continued. I played with the tip of his penis, just rubbing it. Then I moved up to the shaft and just lightly brushed it. It was nice just to touch, but God I wanted more. This was way better than any girl…

"Hey dudes!" Clyde called sitting down across from me while Token sat across from Tweek.

I pulled my hand from Tweeks pants hoping they didn't notice; if they did they didn't say anything.

"Hey, where have you guys been?" I said going back to eating my fries, while I watched Tweek in the corner if my eye, he looked hot again.

"Dude, Tweek, you look like you just got a hand job; you're sweating bullets." Ohhh, THAT'S why he was sweating so bad the other day, getting hand-jobs make him sweat-wait, hand jobs. Is that what I've been doing? That's-that's pretty…gay.

"Yeah Tweek you look pretty warm, you alright?" Clyde asked looking at me from the corner of his eyes.

"Hey Tweek you want some more French-fries?" I asked changing the subject.

"GAH! Y-yeah." He answered shoving fry after fry into his mouth.

"So you guys never answered my question, where have you been?" I asked looking down at Tweeks pants. His bulge had shrunk a little.

Clyde smiled, and so did Token.

"Just talking in the ally." Clyde said smiling that shit faced grin he always wore after he did something sexual. What a liar, but I figure I won't press my luck on the issue.

"That's good." I said giving Clyde that look that says 'You owe me you lying piece of shit'.

He just looked at Tweek, then back at me and gave me that same look.

Before anyone could get out another word the bell rang signaling us to 6th period. We all got up and dumped our trash in the trashcan and left to the English class we all shared.

We all sat down quickly and waited for our teacher Ms. Branders. As always she made a big entrance by slamming the door open and screaming loud.

"Today we will be looking at famous LOVE quotes!"

The whole class grumbled and sighed. No one liked looking at quotes. It was like poetry; boring.

"I KNEW you would LOVE this!" She screeched raising her voice on certain words. Sometimes I think she just likes to watch us flinch at her high pitched voice.

"NOW does ANYONE know a love QUOTE?" She screeched.

Wendy Testibitch- I mean Testaburger rose her hand.

"Yes, WENDY."

"'Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notions of time; effaces all memory of beginning, all fear of an end'; By Madame de Stael."

"VERY good WENDY, does anyone ELSE have one?" She asked looking around the room for her next victim.

"CRAIG, how about YOU?" She asked.

"I got nothin'" I said trying to avoid embarrassment.

"Now CERTAINLY you KNOW at least one."

"Well… I know one. 'Love is friendship caught on fire.' I don't know who it's by." I said embarrassed even though it was no big deal.

"GOOD Craig!" She said moving on to the next student.

After awhile we were done talking about love quotes and had moved on to love poems.

"Now CLASS I want you all to write love POEMS! IT will be FOR a grade." She said smiling.

"Umm Ms. Branders, how do we write love poems if we've never been in love?" Asked Kevin trying to save us from this suffering.

"THEN write FRIENDSHIP poems! As mister Tyler-Allan SAID "LOVE is friendship CAUGHT on fire."

The whole class groaned and some glared at me, but I just took out some paper and started writing.

After the class ended Clyde caught up to me and said "Wait for me at my locker; you'll still be to Tweeks in time for Red Racer." Then he walked off before I could argue.

Craig's P.O.V.

I told Tweek to go get his stuff from his locker while I went to meet Clyde. When I saw him I ran up to him and tapped my foot impatiently.

"Well?" I asked still tapping my foot.

"Give me a sec." He said grabbing his backpack out of his locker. I flipped the bird to his back and waited. He then looked me in the eyes.

"Craig listen man, listen very carefully. Are you listening?" Clyde asked raising an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah." I answered simply hoping to leave soon.

"Today at Tweeks I want you to do what feels right, okay? Don't worry about anyone else. Just show him how you feel Craig, however that is. You can do this man." He said clapping my shoulder.

"Okay. So can I go?" I asked still taping my foot.

"Yeah…" Craig said sighing.

Then I ran off to meet Tweek.

Clyde's P.O.V.

Token walked up to me from behind.

"So, you think he'll listen?" Token asked putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Not a chance." I said smiling at Token regardless of Craig's stupidity and inability to do a damn thing I say.

Craig's P.O.V.

Once I met up with Tweek we quickly made our way to his house. Once we got there Tweek went strait for his coffee pot and poured himself the cold coffee; which he downed with very little effort. I, on the other hand, started to cover the floor in newspaper as usual. By the time I was done Tweek had finished his cold coffee and let Stripe in the house. We both sat down and then we looked at each other. His face got red; a blush? I wasn't sure. Then I remembered what Clyde said, 'Do what feels right.'

I grabbed Tweeks zipper, which didn't seem to freak him out today, and pulled it down. Then I slid down his boxers. I looked at his penis and then turned to myself and undid my own pants.

Then I took Tweeks cock in my hand and rubbed it a little like I had at lunch. I was still confused though; why did I like touching him better than touching a girl? I sighed, it didn't really matter.

"Gaaaah!" Tweek let out a low moan, God I loved that sound. "Is something wrong Craig?" Tweek asked leaning his head back a little.

"No, just thinking." I said looking back on the day I'd had. It seemed that lately things between me and Tweek have been weird. Like today in the bathroom. He hadn't sat on my lap since grade school, and all of a sudden he was in my lap, or lunch, now that was weird. It was like I couldn't control myself; talk about confusion.

"What-nngh- are you thinking about?" Tweek asked me sweating and panting- which made this a hand job, right? But that's being gay; I'm not gay, am I?

"What happened today in the bathroom and at lunch…" I answered truthfully.

He was about to answer, but just then the show started.

I'll be honest, for the first time in my life I wasn't even interested in watching the show, I didn't even look to see if Tweek was taking care of Stripe. I was staring at Tweek. Tweeks face, his penis, his eyes, his lips, his everything. I watched the way he moaned as I jacked him off, the way his head went back and his eyes closed.

I watched him come on my hand. I watched it drip down my hand and onto the floor. I watched him scream my name. I realized I was panting hard for the first time. I couldn't take it and I came, moaning, "Tweeeeeek! Oh my God Tweeek!" I don't know why I said his name, but after I said- er screamed it the commercial came on.

We just looked at each other. I've never been more confused in my life. We watched the

rest of the show in silence. When it was over we cleaned up the newspaper and then he

walked me to his door. I was about to leave, but once again I remembered what Clyde

said. I turned around and pulled his face to mine, and finally did what felt right.

Okay, I'm sorry that this chapter wasn't so great, but I'm doing my best here! Criticism would be great so please review!


	5. Dude, you're just REALLY fucking stupid

Okay so this was out a lot sooner than I expected so I'm happy about that, however this will be the last chapter before the epilogue

Okay so this was out a lot sooner than I expected so I'm happy about that, however this will be the last chapter before the epilogue. Once again I'm thankful for all the reviews I've gotten. You guys are great!

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or 'Queer Duck' the movie.

No dude, you're just REALLY fucking stupid

Clyde's P.O.V.

"WHAT!?" I screamed at Craig after he told me the events of last night.

"I told you I-" I cut him off before he could finish.

"YOU LICKED HIM!" I was fucking seething at this point.

"You're the one who told me to do what felt right!" He screamed at me.

"I didn't think you'd LICK him! I mean what the hell! How does that feel right?!"

"Well that's what Stripe does to show me affection!"

"Stripe is a fucking dog Craig! It's different! I thought you would kiss him or something not fucking lick him!" I screamed in frustration.

"I didn't see a point in kissing him! It's never felt right when I kissed someone!" Craig said pulling on his hat.

"Well, gee, maybe that's because you've only kissed GIRLS Craig! Did that ever cross your mind?"

"Why the fuck does that matter!?" Craig screamed making a weird grunting sound after he said it.

"Oh I don't know; maybe BECAUSE YOU'RE GAY!" I screamed at Craig.

"I'm not gay!" Craig screamed at me.

"Yeah Craig, strait guys jack each other off ALL the fucking time!" I yelled ripping my hair out in a Tweek like manner.

"It's just a game!" He screamed and I lost it,

Before I knew it I was on top of Craig, hitting him.

"THIS ISN'T A GAME CRAIG! It affects other people! It hurts everyone around you! It's hurting Tweek!" I screamed still punching him.

That's the point where he flipped us around and he was on top of me.

"What'd you just say?" Craig asked looking at me with an intense glare. Then I noticed the black eye that I had caused.

"Oh shit! Craig I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hit you; it just happened!" I was scared; I was going to lose my best friend over a black eye.

"I'm fine; I just didn't catch that last part." He said smiling at me even though I had just hit him moments prior.

"W-what?" I asked surprised.

"I didn't hear what you said after 'it's hurting everyone around you.'" Craig said smiling and getting off of me before offering me a hand up.

"You're not mad at me for hitting you?" I asked astonished.

"It's just a black eye." Craig said shrugging. "But seriously what did you say?"

"I said you were hurting Tweek." I answered rubbing my head.

"I don't get how it's hurting him." Craig told me sitting down on a fallen tree trunk.

"Ugggg, you never do." I said sitting down next to him. "Look, remember when Tweek confused you when he held your hand?" I asked.

"Yeah, it was only, like, two days ago." He replied.

"Well, you hadn't ever held a boys hand before, right?" Craig nodded. "Well Tweek had never had another guy jack him off. How confused do you think he is right now? Oh and I doubt the licking helped matters." I said hoping for once his moronic brain would process and understand what I said.

"You mean when I did that I was confusing him like he did me?" Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner!

"Exactly." I said thanking the Lord Craig finally understood what he had done.

"I'm an asshole, aren't I?" Craig asked putting his face in his hands.

"No dude, you're just REALLY fucking stupid." I said smiling at him.

"I-" Craig was caught off by a ringing in his pocket. He pulled out his phone and flipped it open.

"Hey. Yeah, hey Tweeky. Forget? Me? Puh, no way man. I'm on my way to Blockbuster right now." And with that Craig snapped his phone shut and looked at me.

"I forgot Tweek was coming over to my house today to watch a movie; what do I do?" Craig asked waiting one ME to tell HIM the answer.

"Umm, get a movie." I said messing with him.

"Fuck you Clyde. I mean what do I do about Tweek. I mean what if I am gay? I'm not suppose to be gay, it's Dads only rule!" Craig said pulling the flaps of his hat down tightly over his head.

"Well I guess it's like you always say 'Like Stan's face, some rules are made to be broken.'" I said smiling at him.

He smiled back and walked over to me.

"You are my best friend dude, forever and always. I love you man." Craig said giving me a hug.

"BFF's until the end of time." I said smiling and pulling out my Bff necklace. He pulled his out to and we smiled at each other. Then he turned and started walking away.

"Where are you going?" I yelled at Craig.

"To Blockbuster, where else?" He screamed back and waved.

I waved to him and watched him walk off. It was good to know that no boys could ever come between our friendship. As I started to walk off my phone started to ring.

"Hello?"

"I still expect you to tell me what you and Token were doing in the ally." Craig said before quickly hanging up.

Then again maybe it wasn't such a good thing I thought laughing to myself.

Craig's P.O.V.

I walked into Blockbusters, still wondering if I was gay. I mean maybe I am gay, but maybe not. It's a confusing question.

I was walking over to the comedy section, it's really the only type of movie me and Tweek can both watch, when I saw Testabich and dickhead- A.k.a Wendy and Stan.

"Oh! Hi Craig!" It's amazing how even after I turned her down she still wanted me. She was like the Sheila Broflovski of the 10th grade, and yet she let me treat her like shit; I think it turns her on.

"Yo bitch." I said looking at movies.

"Would it kill you to be nice for once?" Stan asked me.

"Probably not, but why risk it?" I said smiling. Wendy laughed.

"Wendy, why don't you check out our movies while Craig and I talk?" Stan asked his bitch of a girlfriend.

She frowned but went to check out there movies, but not before giving me that same look that goth kid had given me earlier this week.

"Look Craig, leave my girlfriend alone alright?" He said trying to be tough.

"Marsh, I don't want anything you've touched." I said mincingly.

"Craig don't play dumb."

"I'm not playing dumb! I really don't fucking want her!"

"I know that Craig, I mean don't be mean to her."

"Well tell her not to hit on me." I said looking back at the movies.

"She doesn't like you! She just wants to 'fix' you…" Stan said crossing his arms.

"What do you mean 'fix' me?" I asked, again looking up at him.

"She thinks she can 'fix' anyone. So of course when she sees a bad boy who likes dudes she's all over-"

"What do you mean 'who likes dudes'!" I hissed at him

"Oh please, you can't tell me you and Tweek are just friends." He said smugly.

"Like you're one to talk! I'm not with Tweek, but you and Kyle? You must be getting sweet Kosher action ALL night. Tell me, which one of you is the pitcher?" I said all of this with a smile on my face.

"I am." He said grinning. Wait that means….

"You're gay?" I asked raising my brow.

"Yeah, how do you think I know you want Tweek?"

"But Wendy-"

"Wants to 'fix' me. I on the other hand want a cover-up until Kyle's ready to come out." Again he smiled.

"You're weird." It was the best thing I could come up with to say.

Then Wendy came back.

"Well I guess we better go Craig, tell Tweeky-poo I said hello." Stan said laughing.

"Bye Craig! See you Monday!" Wendy said waving and giggling.

"I hate my life." I said grabbing a random movie off the shelf. At this point I didn't care what movie it was, I just wanted to leave. I mean that's three people who think I'm gay. I'm starting to think they're right.

I handed my movie to Jimmy, who had started working here just a few months ago. It was no wonder it had taken Wendy so long.

"T-t-that'll be se-se-se-sev-seven ninety f-five Cr-Craig." I smiled and gave him exact change.

"W-why t-thank y-y-you and have a n-n-nice day." He said handing me my movie.

"You too Jimmy!" I yelled leaving the store.

I started on my way home movie in hand. As soon as I was five minutes away I called Tweek to tell him to come over.

When I got home I ran down to the basement where my friends and I always hung out. It was a good sized room with a couch and a recliner, and then at the end of the room hanging on the wall was my baby. Our plasma screen T.V. I loved that T.V.

I pulled out a 12 pack of Mountain dew and made some popcorn, knowing it'd all be gone halfway threw the movie. Stripe walked over to me and looked at me. I realized I had forgotten to tell him about this.

"Come here Stripe, you might want to sit down for this." He sat down on the chair waiting for me to speak.

"Stripe I love you, but tonight I need to be alone with Tweek." He gave me a look that asked why.

"I think I might be gay Stripe and I'm not sure. Everyone keeps telling me I am, but I'm not sure so I need time to figure it out. Is that okay?" I asked hoping he would approve.

He turned his head to the right and licked me for good luck before leaving the room. I smiled knowing I'd always have Stripe.

Then I heard the doorbell ring. I knew mom would get it and send Tweek downstairs so I didn't move.

I threw my jacket off and sat down on the couch. I looked up when I saw Tweek walking down the stairs.

"Hey C-Craig." Tweek said smiling.

"Hey Tweeky." I said patting the seat beside me on the couch.

He came and sat down. After a few moments of silence he asked me a question.

"So what movie are we watching?"

It was a good question since I hadn't looked to see. I got up and grabbed the bag hoping it was good. No dice.

"I got 'Queer Duck, the movie'." I said embarrassed.

"Jimmy must have switched my bag with Big Gay Al. Oops." I said smiling hoping he'd buy it. He luckily laughed a little.

"S-so are w-we s-still GAH watching it?" Tweek asked smiling.

"I guess so."

Now for those of you who have never watched Queer Duck, it's pretty entertaining. Gay duck likes gay alligator, Duck meets another bird who's rich and marries her after being turned strait, girl bird dies, Duck manages to turn gay again, crazy guy who made him strait goes after him, and alligator saves him and so on. Anyway we laughed our asses off.

"That was so GAY!" I screamed laughing.

"G-God the-nngh-part where Queer duck GAH sings that s-song about coming o-o-out was great!" He squealed.

"Man that was great, I'm glad I ended up with that movie." I said finally settling down and drinking the last of the Mountain dew.

"Yeah, but I-I learned s-something today. It's GAH okay t-t-to be gay." Tweek said smiling at me.

"You really think so?" I asked. He nodded. It was now or never.

I leaned forward and kissed him.

"G-GAH! What was t-that for!" Tweek screamed.

"I-I don't know; I'm just confused right now." I said turning red. That is the last time I'm listening to Clyde.

"It's-nngh-okay Craig." He said putting his hand on my shoulder.

"No it's not! I keep doing this to you! I keep hurting you and confusing you!" I screamed.

"Y-you d-didn't hurt me Craig." Tweek said looking me in the eye.

"Clyde said I was." I said looking at the carpet.

"C-Clyde's wrong." Tweek said looking in the opposite direction of me.

"Tweek-"

"What's h-happening to-nngh-us Craig?" Tweek asked looking at me again. And at that point I wasn't confused anymore, well maybe a little.

"I don't know Tweek, but I think I like it." I said climbing onto Tweek. I bent down and whispered in his ear, "Do you like it?"

He let out a low whimper of approval. I looked him in the eye before I kissed his forehead. Then I moved to his lips and started to kiss him. Kissing Tweek is really weird and awkward. For one thing he shakes a lot, he's like a vibrater. He also keeps biting my tongue, but I know he doesn't mean too, but even with that I like kissing him a lot better than kissing any girl.

I moved down to his neck and started kissing it, ignoring his murmurs about getting Aids and Herpies. I can honestly say I am more turned on than I have ever been in my life. I know I'm leaving one hell of a hicky on his color bone, right in plain sight and I can honestly say I don't give a rat's ass.

"CRAIG!"

And now that I hear my dad yelling at me from about five feet away, I do.

"WHAT THW HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" He was screaming so loud I could here my mom running.

I leaned my back against the couch as far as I could. Tweek had already jumped and was behind the couch.

"Answer me boy." He said is such a cold chilling tone that I would have preferred yelling.

That was when my mom and sister came into the room.

"Thomas what happened?" My mom asked. My sister was smiling; she was the one who told him. I glared at her.

"Don't think your momma's gonna save you. Tell her what you were doing." He said using the same tone.

"I kissed Tweek." I said shaking like Tweek always does.

"You hear that! Boy's a queer! A no good fucking fag!" My dad screamed throwing a lamp; luckily it wasn't aimed at me.

"I'm sorry!" I screamed holding back tears of fear. My mom was shaking with fear while my sister laughed at me.

"Where's that boy? Where's that fag who corrupted you?" My dad asked looking for Tweek.

"It's not his fault! I started it!" I yelled praying Tweek would go out the basement door and get help.

I had no luck because Tweek stood up behind the couch and looked my dad strait in the eye.

"Get over here boy." And to my horror he listened.

"All this time I thought it'd be that God damned Donavan boy to turn him, but it was you." He said glaring at Tweek.

I was shaking. God don't hit him, was all I could think.

Then he grabbed Tweek by the neck.

"NO!" I screamed about to leap forward. But then my dad put his hand up signaling that I'd be that last thing I'd ever do.

"Look at this honey." My dad said pointing to the hicky I had given Tweek.

"Nice isn't it?" He said looking at the hicky.

"Honey, put him down." My mother said touching my fathers shoulder.

"No, he likes it when boys touch him. Don't you?" He said pulling Tweeks hair a little.

Tweek was whimpering, not from pain, but fear.

"Dad, put him down it's not his fault!" I screamed.

"No it's yours because you're gay!" My sister said in a sing-songy voice.

"How can you turn on me like this shit-head!? Don't you get that he'll kill me!" I screamed at her.

"Queers deserve to die." She said simply.

My mom gasped. She didn't want me to be gay, but I knew she'd love me no matter what, so it surprised her that my sister wasn't the same way.

"At least I have one smart kid." My dad said throwing Tweek at me. I caught him and just looked at my dad.

"Don't let me stop you, come on Craig he wants it. He's a slut. Fuck your slut." He said smiling.

I just kept looking at him.

"You have two choices Craig, you can promise me you'll never see him again and that you'll go to counseling, or you can prove that this is what you want by fucking him in front of me." He said smiling. It wasn't a choice and he knew it. I couldn't hurt Tweek like that, and even if I could dad would kill me.

Then I saw Stripe walk down the stairs. Bingo.

"I choose neither." I said firmly.

"What?" My dad asked me walking closer. I stood up.

"Hit me." I said getting closer. The second he pulled his fist back Stripe was on him.

"Call the cops!" I screamed to mom while helping stripe. I was lucky she listened. Tweek held back my little sister while Stripe and I took care of Dad. I finally managed to nock him out by hitting his head off the coffee table.

After that Tweek let go of my sister and she ran over to dad crying. I grabbed Tweek and held him; finally I knew I was safe.

Okay for anyone who read that chapter I'm soooo sorry it sucked. I'll try to make the epilogue better. Please review!


	6. Epilogue: Just another day in South Park

Epilogue: Just another day in South Park

Epilogue: Just another day in South Park

2 weeks later

Tweek and I are still together; I know two weeks is really nothing, but I know it's love. We spend almost everyday together; laughing and happy. I never knew what love felt like before this.

Clyde and Token are also together now. Sometimes Token has problems being together with Clyde, but they seem to be doing well.

Hell even Stripe is happy! He seems to be following the rest of the crowd; he's with Sparky Marsh. I think Sparky's a little feminine for Stripe, but I think Stripe knows what he wants and I owe a lot to him.

With out Stripe I never would have needed Tweeks help and my dad would have never been taken to live with a homophobic-support camp; where he is learning it's okay to be gay; my sister also goes there on weekends.

But just as much as Stripe I feel I have to thank Red Racer. Red Racer is the best show ever and without it none of this would have happened; so I beg you please put Red Racer back on the air!

Yours truly, Craig Tyler-Alan

"So what do you think Tweek?" I asked showing Tweek the last page of my letter.

"I t-think if the p-p-producers are-nngh-homophobes then you're GAH screwed." He answered smiling.

"Well let's hope they're not. Now come on, we're gonna be late for school." I said smiling.

We ran to the bus stop to find an odd sight; Clyde and Token making out. It was still weird for me to imagine the two of them together, but they seemed happy.

"GAH! Jesus Christ!" Tweek screamed caused Clyde and Token to break apart, both of them blushing.

I laughed and the bus pulled up.

"SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!" Ms. Crabtree screamed at us.

"God you're such a bitch." I said walking on to the bus.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"I said my uncle Tim fell in a…ditch?" I said unprepared.

"OH. I'm sorry- YOU JUST FLIPPED ME OFF!"

"No I didn't"

"Oh."

Tweek, Token, and Clyde all followed me onto the bus and we sat down. Clyde sat with Token, and I sat with Tweek.

This morning we were just as loud as always; carrying on like hellions.

We got to school and the day moved along quickly. That was until English.

Today we were supposed to read our love poems out loud. We all sat in our desks praying the teacher wouldn't call on us- of course I didn't get that lucky.

"MR.TYLER-ALAN how about YOU go next." She said not really giving me a choice.

I walked behind the podium she had in front of the room and turned to her.

"You CAN begin." She said smiling.

"About my Friends, by Craig Tyler-Alan." I said suddenly unnerves.

"I have a best friend and his name is Clyde,

He's always been with me and by my side,

He's there to shoot hoops or just mess around,

He's my best bud; he's not a rebound,

He tells me the truth when I don't want to hear it,

Then he's always there to boost my spirit,

He yells to much; says my eyes are shit brown,

Still there's no one better to have around.

My next friend is Token the dick,

Sometimes I want to hit him with a big stick,

But at the end of the day I realize what's true,

Pain in the ass or not you're still part of my crew,

You think I'm dumb; I think you are too,

But like it or not we're stuck together like glue,

We don't get along; yet here we are,

I'm writing this poem and you're one of the stars.

Then there's Tweek the love of my life,

He lights up my world threw the dark nights,

He drinks to much coffee,

He's afraid of underpants gnomes,

Yet some how I love him,

Some say I'm just dim,

But I'd bet all my money that it's more than just that,

That some special force pulls at my back,

Pushing us together on days like today,

Wanting us to be together always."

I finished my poem and walked back toward my seat. Clyde smiled and high-fived me, Tweek blushed his ass off, and then Token stood up.

"You're a dumb fuck and you suck at poetry." Token said pulling me into a man hug.

I smiled. We both knew he meant he considered me his friend too.

We sat threw a few more poems before walking out of the class room.

"Umm, hey guys, ya wanna just skip the rest of the day?" Clyde asked smiling.

We all smiled back and headed toward the door. It was a normal day in South Park. The four of us were all gay and no one carried, and no one noticed as we walked out the door. Yep just another day in South Park.

Sorry this chapter sucked so bad and was so short. I would like to thank everyone who reviewed, you guys kept me going!

Also, after thinking about this story I felt like my mind raped it, then I realized it started out raped. I mean the whole story's about jacking off! Lol, I still like this story though and I'm happy I'm done! Okay now one more thing, I'm going to start on another story but I don't know which to start first so here are some descriptions, please put the one you'd like to see next with your review.

New Yorker

Craig moved to New York for 3 months his 11th grade year. Now he's back and he's about to realize what's more important than being cool. CraigXTweek

21

A study shows 21 of 10th grade students are closet gays. Of course when the parents see this they over react. SLASH- Lots of pairings.

RLS

Craig has restless leg syndrome, but he should have read the side effects on the bottle of medicine he got before staying at Tweeks. CraigXTweek, oneshot

Who comes first

A story where Craig has to pick who comes first: Tweek or hot girls.

Thank you for helping!


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